1. Possible conspiracies

Sometimes I think my university wants me dead. Prior to coming to Nottingham, we were advised to avoid areas of depravation as safety is obviously very important. Little did I know that they were plotting some sort of mastermind plan to find ways to eliminate me with no possible traces of evidence. So they decided to send me to the dodgiest  area in all of Nottingham for my GP placements. Conveniently, this particular place is the base of one of the most notorious gangs of Notts. Don’t get me wrong I really enjoy my GP visits there, but don’t be surprised if you hear of me getting stabbed to death just because I refused to give away my wallet to a mugger. (I mean my debit card and university card are inside my wallet, together with some other important crap. Frankly, I would rather die than go through the hassle of getting a new uni and debit card. So yeah, fuck it, just stab me now.)

2. Status updates on facebook

I will post status updates where people would either find funny or intersting. If no one ‘likes’ or comments on it. I would delete it in about 2 hours if it is  not ‘liked’ or if there are no comments in that period of time, in hopes that people won’t think I’m sort of loser no one pays attention to. Yeah, I’m sad like that.

3. People walking directly in opposite directions

Sometimes I purposely don’t give way. I think of it as some sort of psychological warfare, having a notion that whoever moves to the side first is weaker. You probably can already imagine me colliding head-on with another neurotic.

4. Anti-burglar plan

When I get back to my room I always have this image of someone breaking into it as soon as I open the door. So as I approach my room I would contemplate on the choice of ‘weapons’ I would use against the burglar. So it would most probabaly be:

a) A thermos flask = throw scalding hot water at the burglar’s face

b) An umbrella bought from pound world = choke him using the umbrella’s handle

c) A nail clipper = cut his fingernails so deep that he gets an ingrown nail (yes it hurts like a bitch, my ultimate weapon)

5.  Losing things

I keep my key inside my wallet most of the time. About 10 seconds after zipping it up I will always  check if it’s still there because I have this irrational fear that my key will disappear into thin air.

6. Vocabulary

Although I already knew the meaning of the word ‘neurotic’. Before writing this post, I double checked its meaning. Just in case.

Man, I really have issues.